OH LOVE DEAR LOVE.

Worse than before , I’m at my home. My that home of sadness that others can’t see. May be its bricks are that much expensive that only unlucky and sadistic people like me can afford them or you can the one who has enough courage to tolerate limitless misery can afford them. What to say ? whome to say ? how to sleep ? how to laugh? everything seems unanswerable. You know whome I met today ? I met someone so special that after the meeting I am unable to maintain my neutrality. Yes she was T…. Unlucy me and my destiny. I wonder that another wound of this year was remaining. But why I am feeling unhappy ? is there no one in this world other than her? Everyone died? no there are so many people around the globe who care me but why I am still stuck to the person who even did not think about my existence. I’m worshipping her like she’s the god and what I am getting in return is only pain. I’m still ending my story because you are not in my story as my companion character otherwise there are too many stories with too many other characters which want to cast me. she’s not even here to read these or may be she will never read. If she is not with me completely , I wish she could be in my front just to stay in my eyes. its not like I never tried to talk her but until when I would talk her with fake accounts without revealing my identity. I even stopped that one day , she even did not know that its me. she used to seem happy with her friends , may be her male best friends. Now see the irony that I can’t see her happy like this and those with whom she is happy , I am having anger towards them. So I gave up a day. Love is the thing that makes god to the person who hurts me the most just after getting her glance again. I once asked her with my fake account and she denied then to have any partner but today I again talked her in real a little bit but it was a normal one . I don’t know she knows I love her but I really do love her … I was writing something on page and suddenly I gave her the pen to write something and she wrote “I AM WONDERFUL” yes she is no wonder (cries..) I was having a meal and she came in the room with a glass of water. Lucky that glass I touched that glass then from every angle and felt her. I am so dumb When she was taking a nap in noon I went outside the room and I saw her sleepers there ,those sleepers that stay with her. the dust in them came touching her paws,I touched them ,touched the dust felt it. The brand written on them was “ lucky” and I was like yes you are very lucky that you got a chance to even stay in her dust and paws. I could have directly asked her but due to family relations I don’t wanna break them by my foolishness. and also why will love a looser like me , she may have so many friends so many choices who can wipe out their fake tears for her. my blood was like boiling when she was using phone or chatting with someone else. I had eye contact with her 2 3 times. whenever she tried to say something to me about any topic I just lost myself in her eyes , just got immerse in them. I played a song for her “ tu hai to mujhe fir aur kya chahiye (what else do I want if you are with me )”. But I guess she will never understand it was for her. I tried to make contact with her afterward but she never accepted my request. I wished her happy birthday by a fake account and she blocked it without even saying thak you. everything was running good in life but then I saw her that day. love make you die when you are alive. I am ready to live even if she will make me servant of her home wherever she will get marry. At least my eyes will see her every morning and evening, what else do I want. she’s just a person but the pain I am getting make me realize that she is the real villain, but what can we do , love makes anyone god. yes I’m still waiting for her . yes she is giving me pain. yes she is making me sad. yes she is still teasing me in my heart. but the reality is the amount of love I have for her make it ensure that I want to be sad , I want to be in pain , I want to remain sad , I want to be teased from her because these are the only things I can get from her and her everything is precious for me. thank you based on a true experience. I will get you in future , I will try my best . you just wait and watch now.